I couldn't make this stuff up

On Saturday, we spent a few hours researching flooring. We would like to get a little ahead of schedule with the flooring so we can get it delivered and let it age-in-place before we are ready to install it so that whatever day we are ready to install we can start.

We found a flooring we like called Marmoleum click - a linoleum made in 1'x 3' panels that click together. The website showed a few stores near us that sell it, so off we went to have a look. We got to the first store, and even though they were closed, the owner was there doing paperwork and allowed us to look around. We asked for the Marmoleum click, and he insisted that not only is there no such product but that he certainly didn't sell it! Click together linoleum - you'd think we were asking for unicorns!

Not wanting to argue, we asked if we could look around anyway since we were there and within 5 seconds of setting foot in the showroom I found the 6 FOOT TALL Marmoleum display IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FLOOR clearly visible from the door. He then then covered his back by saying "that's laminate, not linoleum," which is sort of true in the sense that pasta is an extruded product not a starchy dinner food. The Marmoleum layers are laminated together. Having shopped a lot for flooring, I can tell you across the board that if you say "laminate," you will get a layered product with a top layer of plastic that looks like wood, not a top layer of linoleum which is made from natural materials such as flax and wood dust. I let it go as I didn't want to antagonize him further.

He then told insisted we need glue as well, and I had to tell him, as gently as possible, uh, no you don't it's click together. He also suggested a pad, which we discussed with him.

When we left, he took our information down including my name and phone number as well as the exact prduct we wanted and the quantity, and I requested a price with and without padding, to which he replied that "my girl" (aka the STORE MANAGER) would call Tuesday. Even back in the day when you could get away with calling a female employee your girl, nobody called the manager "my girl." We got no call on Tuesday or Wednesday, and finally I called him on Thursday and got the customary clueless staff person who says enigmatically "hold on" and gives no clue what we are holding for.

Someone else picks up the phone and says "Hello?" as if they picked up the phone to make a call and found it oddly quiet and had to inquire if someone was there. I explain that we were there on Saturday and talked to the owner "Tom," who let us look around and was going to have someone call us with a price.

Person on phone: Nobody called you?

me: No, nobody called.

Person on phone: Nobody called you?

me: Um no, nobody called.

Person on phone: So nobody called you?

Me: NO, NOBODY HAS CALLED.

Person on phone: wow, hmmmm, so nobody called.

Me: right, nobody called.

Person on phone: I wrote it down.

Me: Oh, is this Tom?

Person on phone: yes

Now let me interject here. WHO continues a conversation with someone talking about them in the third person? If someone called your home number and your name is Mike and they say "Hi this is ABC company, I left some information with Mike on Tuesday and wanted to follow up," most people would say "This is Mike" instead of letting themselves be talked about in the third person.

He then covers his back again and says the reason he didn't call was because he didn't have specific information. Then what did you write down? He then proceeds to give us a quote without asking for any additional information, which means he did have the exact information he needs he just didn't do it. He then says again that we need glue and we had to remind him that this product does not use glue. Again with the cover your back he says, oh year, for THAT Marmoleum you don't. Ugh. I might be willing to put up with his incompetence if the prices was good, but his price was actually 15% higher than the highest quote we found online and that's after talking a bunch of smack about giving us a good price. I don't appreciate all the wink, wink "I'll give you a good deal" talk and then it's so far from a good deal that 30 seconds on the internet will beat his price by a long shot. That tells me he thinks I, or his customers in general, are stupid.

I really couldn't make it up. The sad thing is that this is pretty much par for the course for all out home improvement projects. It wouldn't be so bad if this was an unusual interaction, but it's not.